Ramblings of a Delusional Madd Man

An Ode To Fritz

2007-11-09T00:58:35Z

Oh dear Fritz that has been gone so long,
I still have, from practice, your sweater vest.
You left it by a tree so shady and grown,
come to practice and get it, it would be best.

Never said my poetry was good. or even poetic.

I am not dead.

2007-11-09T00:53:25Z

Greetings and salutations all, I am not dead. Yay.
Anyway, I recently emailed a few of you with regards to possibly maybe thinking about if I had enough of a response to my email to maybe start running a game. Unfortunately, I only got one response. And yes, it was in the positive. So I am posting this in hopes that maybe for some unforeseen reason the email I sent to everyone else, got lost. So here goes………………
I want to run a game, I want it to start the first Friday in February, (a couple days after my birthday if it makes any of you feel a little guiltier) and it will be D&D role playing. Here is an excerpt.

You wake up with the worst hangover you have ever had,. Your head is pounding, your eyes watering, your mouth tastes like you have been chewing on dirty socks again. You must have drunk way to much last night. Funny thing is that you don’t remember drinking at all last night, or even being in town. You must have been wrong, hope you didn’t do anything quite as embarrassing as last time.
That is when you notice that you are tied down. Head, hands feat, and you begin to wonder how much you had to drink. A coolness descends on your body and you realize that you are naked, Just how much did you have to drink, and with who, and will you regret this all later.
You hear a noise beside you, and you turn your eyes, hoping beyond hope to catch a glimpse of the beauty that would have been able to make you do such things that you don’t remember, which makes everything worse because you imagine doing so much……
Anyway, you catch a glimpse of a flowing pink gown, slowly drifting toward you, being worn by an obviously male goblin, that smiles warmly at you.
As you wonder just exactly how much you had to drink last night and what the hell you did, he thrusts a dirty rusty funnel into your mouth and pours the most disgusting revolting liquid into your mouth. You try to spit it out but he clamps your mouth closed and plugs your nose, forcing you to swallow.
As you start to black out, you just now you are going to regret this all in the morning.

I want people to email me if they are interested. Any class, any of the basic starting races, any alignment. Giving you 1000 points so you can upgrade to level 2, because lets face it level ones won’t live, and at least some of you will probably die. Use the starting money that each class gets and have fun. Let me know what you are going to play when you email me, or I can easily help if you want. Let me know if you have any questions.

Happy Birthday to me

2007-02-08T02:20:39Z

Well, it has been a few days since the actual event, (January 30th) but I wanted to thank everyone who came out and helped me celebrate. We didn’t do anything overly special, just saw Pan’s Labrinth, which was very good, though a little heavy, then dinner at steak and shake. Most of you who came out, I am sure, probably didn’t even know that it was my birthday. That was perfectly fine. It still happened to be one of the best birthdays I have had in a long while. No one died, no one, including myself was injured, nothing blew up or started on fire. It was a good day.

Long Time I know

2006-11-25T03:34:21Z

It has been a long time since I have posted, I know. Have No fear, I am still alive. I know that some of you were possibly worried. Everything in my life is going very very very well. If you want to know more, Than why don't you ask me yourself?There has been plenty that has happened in the last couple of months, not all of it good, some of it quite unpleasant, and some of it that made me giddy (yes, I can be giddy).I know I have not been completely forthcoming with as much information as you would have liked, and that is not going to change. I love my life, I love the way everything has turned out. Even the bad things turned out to be blessings for they sent me on to find much, much better things.

Decleration of Intent

2006-07-13T00:35:45Z

Well, if you haven't noticed, I have been a little frustrated lately, and believe it or not it has absolutely nothing to do with DeAnna.
I finally feel free, after so many years of pulling myself back to make other people happy, and I am relishing my newfound freedom. Unfortunately I feel that some people would like me to be a little less free. A good friend of mine, after DeAnna and I broke up warned me that I am " a cookie" and to "beware of the cookie monsters." I laughed, I thought it was funny, but after walking through down town Ann Arbor, especially after fencing when my good friend is there to point out every single time it happens (he so enjoys harassing me now that I am single) I feel like a piece of meat walking through a tiger cage.
So on Saturday I went camping with some friends, get it, friends, and we set up our tent with the help of another friend, and after we were done he walks by and looks in and says to me in passing, "just counting how many beds there were." I am so totally tired of everyone taking such a large interest in my sex life, and I feel that this might answer all questions. I have not slept with anyone since my wife, or during my marriage other than my wife.
And to that fact, the declaration of intent. I am taking a temporary vow of celibacy at least until my birthday. I think that this will give me the peace of mind that I have been looking for, or maybe the excuse I miss when I was married. Whenever I would get a phone number, or address, or room number, or sexual fantasy from a man or woman, before I could always turn to them and say, "thank you, it is a great compliment but I am married. " I miss that reliability and stability.
Now for a few addendums; first if you thought it was you that caused me to do this, get over yourself, only one person can be credited with this idea, and she said it in jest, I just happened to think that for a limited time it was a good idea. Secondly, if you think that you are one of the reasons for me feeling the way I do to make me support the idea, well, you probably are, but don't feel to bad, it wasn't just you, it was the ten thousand other people too. Thirdly, I don't want to loose any friends over this, if I loose you for a friend because of this, then you obviously did not want to be a good friend in the first place. Fourthly, any one who sees this as a challenge to be met, then you do not know me very well, and I don't think that I want to know you.
Technically speaking, from now on I will not tell anyone when my birthday is, and for the few people that do know, I ask that you keep your mouths shut. Any and all offers to help me "celebrate" my birthday will be ignored, or met with sudden and unexpected acts of violence. Any questions that I dub as being not to obscene, I may answer, but just ember this, if you are thinking about it that much something may be wrong with you.
Feel free to talk to me in person about this, I will not post any replies to any comments to this.
Well, that is it. And you thought that no one posted anything interesting on lj.

Fun

2006-07-10T21:43:07Z

I had a woderful weekend at Talonvale. I wish everyone could have gone, (mr. paul) lots of fighting, lots of tourneys, A good friend won 2 tourneys in 24 hours. He deserved to win them, but he still deserves to be given a hard time. It really just means that we are proud of him.
Lots of things happened, and i am sure that i'll tell everyone indidivually again anyway, so i won't bother writing it now so, goodbye.

1maddhatter @ 2006-05-31T21:30:00

2006-06-01T02:22:07Z

Just Looking For Some Peace
"So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a stranger if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs them of their visions. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home."
Tecumseh

It is strange, reading words that can tear you from the things racing through your mind and think that this is how i failed in life, and this is how I can try again.

I have been going through quite alot recently, and many many friends have helped, some I didn't even know that I had. Everyone has helped immmensely, but what has helped the most, has just been letting go. Letting go of regrets. I Have never regretted anything that I have ever done. the things that I have done have made me me, and if i regret them then I regret being myself, and I am done with that. I have quite a few regrets of the things that I haven't done. I could list them, but then even I would get depressed, so I won't. I will no longer not do the things that I want because of what someone else says, or because of what I think they will say. There is no shame in an attempt of something, or the failure of it, but only in failing to attempt it.

I have wondered away from the path of my totem, and can hear its calls in my soul leading me home. I wandered away side by side with my mate as she tried to find her path. Her totems changed occasionally, from honorable animal to honorable animal, and lead her for quite a varied path, and I stayed with her, some brought me closer to my path, some farther, but through it all we were together. Recently her path has diverged from mine, and she no longer wishes me to wander with her. I miss her, and I miss the adventures that we always seamed to find, but I feal my soul rushing back to the path that I left, running as fast as it can up that wooded slope. Occasionally my soul offers a mournful call for the one who used to be my life mate, but she must follow her own path, and I mine. If our paths converge later on in life, I would not be surprised, and I would be glad, for I still love her, but I will not wait for that chance. What is to be will be. She must follow her path and I wish her the best of luck and happiness, as I know that she wishes me. The path may be dark, and slippery for a while, but I am looking forward to it, and the adventure that it represents.

Name that sword II

2006-03-13T03:38:34Z

I want to thank everyone that gave me a suggestion. Some were very good, some were very weird, but thanks to you all, I have named my sword. After reading Fritz's post I decided to name it after the demon from the musical episode of Buffy the vampire slayer. My sword's name is now Sweet. If you are interested, look up the lyrics to the first song that Sweet sings, and see if that describes the way I fight. Get in close and dance around till someone is dead, and in the process force your opponet to dance also.

name that sword.

2006-03-06T02:09:04Z

I recently had a dream that consisted of my sword being jeolous of my buckler because my buckler has a name, Nibler. I am now taking sugestions for names for my sword. any ideas would be helpfull. Thanks.

Chapter 1 How to throw a Party without T

2006-02-13T17:42:27Z

Dharvey was lackluster, tired of plodding along on his way to deliver the final package of the day for The Knight Errand Delivery service. It had been a long day, fighting trolls and wasps and hornets. Even his faithless horse, for you could not quite call him a steed any more than you could call Dharvey Sir, for Dharvey hadn't quite gotten his promotion up to sir yet, was looking a little worse for wear. Neither of them was very enthused about this last assignment. Not only did they have to deliver a package to the hobgoblin in Northfast, which by the way is neither in the north or very fast, as a town, it is in fact very lazy, but they had to train the new intern a Mr. Tineeman.
Dharvey did not know why he had to train the new intern, just because he had yet to slay a dragon to get his promotion, for every good knight must slay a dragon, it says so in the employee hand book, he felt that his manager a Mr. Antiemm was punishing him. Thoughts of why he ever left his beloved province of Cansasenymoor floated through his head quite frequently, but this place just wasn't it.
Mr. Tineeman was a very stout individual to become employed for the delivery service. before getting hired, he worked as a blacksmith part time, and as far as Dharvey could tell, had almost no emotion to speak of. But that is no reason to judge anyone, he told himself, not everyone can be as naive' as I am, or look as good in their armor. For Dharvey had spent his entire paycheck on new armor, blue and white checks all inlaid into the plate mail. While Mr. Tineeman wore only the aluminum chain mail provided by Knight Errand.
When Dharvey asked any question of Mr. Tineeman, the only response ever forthcoming was, "I have no opinion on the matter." and Dharvey found this to be quite unsettling, and told his horse, Tofu, as much. But being a vegetarian, and not liking the fact that Dharvey kept trying to slip meat into his organically grown and free from animal testing grain , he was not in a good mood for talking.
A few miles from their destination of Northfast, they came upon a strange individual, both in appearance and attitude. The man was dressed all in brown and tan , and was average in every way, which is quite unusual in itself, but no one ever wears brown and this made him extreamely strange. He also seemed to be chasing a herd of cattle, not in any direction, but as it seamed, just to startle them to see their reaction.
“Wow their,” cried Dharvey, “What are you doing there, and who are you?”
“Did you know that you can increase the methane productions of cows by 10% by startling them at irregular intervals? You may call me Prof. Scarcrovian .” said the man as he adjusted his glasses . “I am on my way to Northfast and saw the opportunity to conduct a little research, and yourself, where are you heading,?”
“We are also heading to Northfast, we belong to The Knight Errand Delivery Service, and would be glad to have you join us.” said Mr. Tineeman, which completely perplexed poor Dharvey, for this is the most the intern has ever said, as far as Dhavrey knew.
“That would be grand, just let me get my body guard, he grew scared when he saw you approaching and ran and hid in the bushes.” replied Prof. Scarcrovian.
Out of the bushes on the far side crawled the largest man Dharvey had ever seen. He was well over six feet tall, wearing armor that looked to be covered in dirt and had a yellow tinge to it. On one arm was strapped a massive shield with a rampant lion on it, the other held his weapon of choice, a French style Habillot.
“You must forgive him,” said Prof. Scarcrovian, “ he is easily startled, but a fine fighter. I have never seen anyone wield a Habillot with as much skill. His name is Leo, not that he will say much. He is very timid around strangers.”
So off they went to Northfast, a party that grew in considerable size quite unrepentantly, and confused Dharvery to no end, but since this wasn’t a totally unnew feeling for him, he excepted it and moved on.

(all the words written were chosen for a particular reason, so if something doesn’t seem to fit right or make sense, don’t worry, it wasn’t supposed to. Also if you do not know what a word is - for example a Habillot- I suggest you look it up. It will make the story much more interesting, and make a lot less sense.)

Prologue = Professional French tree limb

2006-02-08T01:56:09Z

WARNING!!!!! If you are looking for something interesting or intelligent to read, then I suggest that you go else where. Most of my friends are on live journal and write about their lives, unfortunately, I do not have a life interesting enough to excite people, or miserable enough to invoke empathy. As such, I will not be writing about my life, or, at least not this one. I reject your reality, and substitute a few of mine own. A few of the characters are based on colleagues, associates and friends. Please do not feel betrayed or put down in any way, if you finally deduce which character you represent. Good day to all those poor unfortunate souls who claim the distinct honor of reading this.